We had a lovely winter day surrounded by pine trees, celebrating first birthdays, engagements and the holidays. A wonderful way to spend my Sunday.

I also shared some of the ways I enjoy learning, and some of the knowledge I have acquired as a result. Buuuuut focus on the photos <3

My dad was super keen on the phrase “Feed your head”. I’ve always loved it because it encompasses learning beyond books.

I have a really hard time visually learning with no audio/action. I need to pair them or I deeply struggle with retention. Why struggle when I have more tools?

I started listening to books, while scanning the book in front of me, and reading/taking notes. Since this can get expensive, I started just listening and writing notes in a journal about the books. Ironically, I stumbled onto this in middle school, when I forgot to read “The Giver”, so I rented the book on tape and spent the day listening to it and writing my report. Who knew procrastination and quick thinking would save my butt, and teach me the learning style(s) I need to not just memorize temporarily, but to also retain.

So I ingest knowledge in a lot of ways.

I listen to books and podcasts, taking a moment to write down anything poignant. I also watch documentaries, and films that have value from facts or powerful use of metaphor. I see lyrics as poems.

I’ll listen to the same song over and over and study the lyrics.

Sometimes I’ll grab a marker and jot notes on the inside of an lp jacket for my kids to know which lyrics stand out to me.

I also started paying attention in close detail to friends, and strangers stories.

I catch where they went wrong, or went right in the story. I learn from their mistakes, their proper handling of situations. I listen to parents that are 5 years further into this gig and save how they responded to their kid so I’m ready to roll with mine.

I’m constantly looking for something to feed my head. There are lessons everywhere.

I even starting listening to my own advice that I was repeatedly howling to my children. It’s a double win, because I can laugh at my hypocrisy and then realize, I too could put my freaking shoes away. I too, should pay attention when Lexi is telling me a story about her motherhood issues with her babydoll. If I demand their attention, I better start giving them mine.

I’m also incredibly aware that history repeats itself, in the bigger sense of course, but also on a personal level.

Instead of avoiding thinking about lovers and friends that have left my life, I revisited them completely. 

I draft a two column list of:

1. The qualities, skills, and details that I loved about them. Whether that be their charm, quick wit, music, sense of fashion and vibes. Their knowledge, and solid vocabulary words. One boyfriend taught me the basics of photoshop one night for fun, and it’s a primary tool in my career now. One guy taught me how to jump on a guys back if he’s attacking someone, and how to choke them out in 5 seconds. That’s some useful business. 

2. The ways that I was hurt by their words and actions, and how they made me feel in those dark moments. 

I then acknowledge the shared good qualities and adopt new ones that inspire me.
I also accept that I have also done and said almost every single terrible thing that person has inflicted on me. 
I finally started facing myself, because I believe you get what you give.
 
I’ve been resentful and dishonest. I’ve annihilated people who loved me and disregarded their feelings. I see how absolutely horrific that made me feel, and I become terrified to do it to anyone else.
 
Frankly, there was a time in my life that I would have looked at the bad as an excuse to hurt others. I have since flushed that garbage. 

Revisiting past relationships means finding a purpose for an ended love. It takes the bones and makes it a learning experience, that was hopefully also mostly positive when you were apart of it.

I am taking the good for the benefit of my life and those around me, and in my future. I’m learning from their worst, and mine, in order to stop repeating terrible patterns. 

It’s also a great decluttering tool, so I can fit new information like the great Oreo and Hydrox cookie conflict that started like a hundred years ago. Google it.

Thank you to all the faces in these photos. This was a lovely way to wrap up the year.

Also, thank you to Pine Hill Farms. You might be stuck with my face again next year, haha!

I cannot wait to see you all in 2022, especially Kristen and Kenny for your wedding in April! <3