It’s Valentine’s day, with a Hazel shade of winter.

Josh is a painter, and he admits to being a painter in text, but is hesitant to say it in person. 

There is something about legit saying you’re an artist. I think it lies in the spot between self-doubt and humble. A touch of warm natured self-torture? Your guess is as good as mine. 

Josh is absolutely a painter, and a really talented one. So here we go: 

You could say I had a pretty rough couple of weeks leading up to this shoot.

Thankfully I had this shoot scheduled, along with Monster Jam with some real dope kids, so I knew the sun was on its way. 

As soon as I met Josh’s wife and baby girls, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. 

Warm, safe, and loved…by total strangers. These are good people.

The first hour of him preparing his tools and packing his truck, I was absolutely not photographing him, and instead playing with his kids. 

We had to put the puppers outside, because he/she? was knocking me over with excitement. 

I was flattered, and flattened. Pup love.

Once we smashed on some donuts, we got to work, and the girls showed me around. 

My goal with the artist series is to get their entire world.

Notes on the fridge and kiddos with donut crumbs on their face (because kids literally always have crumbs, and we wipe them off at photo sessions). For shoots like this, I am keeping the crumbs. 

Josh’s oldest took a piece of furniture to the face mid shoot, and she has an egg on her head for the rest of the photos.

I was so impressed by how well she took a massive hit, that I am not removing it. 

People need to know. 

The girls were so patient for a couple of family photos, and then showed me their work.

We had very awesome conversations but they are none of your business.

I still cannot remember this poor dog’s name, but he/she/they is/are a MODEL.

Ana was kind enough to make me a coffee before we took off into the sunny 11 degree morning. 

Josh likes to work out of the back of his truck.

He doesn’t like easels, and I hate tripods, so we immediately get one another.

He uses his tailgate, and I stand on rental cars.

Even the small talk is good, because he is genuine and honest.

We were diving into serious topics before we even found a landscape to paint, and unloaded the supplies.

He had no idea how much I needed to be near an honest person, with a well intentioned conversation. What a relief.

Plus, we were both spared eye contact for like 80% of the conversation. I like that.

I shared a project I have been working on, that has to do with dependency treatment.

An alternative to the current options for people with particularly tricky habits. 

We share our personal experiences with chemical dependency, and we start to kick ideas back and forth about the lingo we are over. 

Did you notice I keep avoiding the word “addiction”? I feel like it’s a trigger, and we are quick to deny it because it sounds so bad. 

I am trying out chemical dependency, because while I do not have an addiction to substances, I used to be extremely co-dependant on (mostly toxic) people. 

Both are tragically unhealthy and hard to unlearn.

Both are particularly tricky habits, that with the right support and a new outlook, can be put at bay.  

So that is the kind of conversation I am having these days. 

Personal, honest, maybe even a little emotional.

I just keep getting so much more out of these chats than comfortable ones. 

I keep getting so much out of vulnerability that it gets hard to hold back for me.

I just want to know exactly who everyone is.

Who they were, if there are good lessons in there.

But I really wanna know who they wanna be. The whole tamale, if you will.

It might seem like I am not sharing a lot about Josh, but I feel like that is what he would prefer. 

So I am using so many photos of his art and family, because that is what I would want, too. I hope I read him right.

What I can say for sure is: the guy has an eye for color that is almost painful for me. I have sat and stared at 3 of the colors he has created, for literally blocks of time.

If you are wondering, they’re shades of yellow, green, and blue. 

He also photoshops in real time, mentally removing obstructions. 

We both have jobs that include shutting our right eye a lot.

Josh likes to take photos of the landscape, get the layout and first layer on his canvas.

Then he packs up shop and brings the painting home to dry. 

I only posted black and whites when he got close to finishing the first round, because I’d never steal his big reveal.

I am sure he had to go unpack the truck and put a bunch of supplies away, but the girls stole my attention immediately upon arriving back. 

I continued to fall in love with their family over a spaghetti lunch. 

They will never know how much I needed this, and appreciate them. 

Thank you to Ana, Josh, and your perfect daughters for sharing your sunshine with me.